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So apparently, calling someone who stutters a "stutterer" is considered an insult. Who knew?

In the cold open, Idol whined about losing Burnell, which I found funny because he wasn't even that good.

After seeing the song spoilers for this week, I was not looking forward to watching the performances. Nothing looked funny or trainwreck worthy. It looked like another damn snoozefest. And it didn't help that they were doing two songs this week.

Now, here's something you probably don't know about me: I have an excellent memory. It's not photographic, but it's pretty close. For example, my family will ask me random trivia about Friends, and I can give them the exact answer followed by what season it was from, the episode number, and episode title (true story). But these performances were so boring, cliche, and forgettable that I decided to test something out. So I watched the episode, then went to class, then came back to see if I could remember the performances without watching the episode again. No grades this week.

Angie Big Hair
First Song:
"Anyone Who Had a Heart" by Dionne Warwick
Did I Remember It? No. It was a boring ballad.
Did the Judges Like It? Eh, not really. Keith and Nicki didn't feel any passion. Mariah said she focused too much on perfecting her pronunciation.
Second Song: "Love Came Down" by Kari Jobe (who?)
Did I Remember It?
She played the piano. That's it.
Did the Judges Like It? They always like her on the piano.


Amber Not-Whitney Houston
First Song:
"I Say a Little Prayer" by Dionne Warwick
Did I Remember It? I remember the beginning sounded like elevator music.
Did the Judges Like It? Yes. They droned on and on about it.
Second Song: "Love on Top" by Beyoncé
Did I Remember It? It was the only uptempo song of the night. And she was very shouty. Other than that, no.
Did the Judges Like It? Yeah. What else is new?


Lazaro the Stutterer
First Song:
"(They Long to Be) Close to You" by The Carpenters
Did I Remember It? No.
Did the Judges Like It? The judges basically shat all over him. They hated that he was still around. The audience didn't even boo the bad critiques.
Second Song: "Angels" by Robbie Williams
Did I Remember It? Somewhat. Not a lot of it.
Did the Judges Like It? The judges kinda liked him, but the producers told them to like the girls more.


Kree the Janitor
First Song:
"What the World Needs Now Is Love" by Jackie DeShannon
Did I Remember It? No.
Did the Judges Like It? Yes. The judges loved anyone who wasn't Lazaro or Angie (which is surprising, given how pimped she was coming into the voting rounds).
Second Song: "Help Me Make It Through the Night" by Kris Kristofferson
Did I Remember It? Other than one or two off-key notes, no.
Did the Judges Like It? Yeah. I don't know why. She's not interesting at all.


Bland Janelle
First Song:
"I'll Never Fall in Love Again" from Promises, Promises
Did I Remember It? No.
Did the Judges Like It? They were iffy on her.
Second Song: "The Dance" by Garth Brooks
Did I Remember It? Her last note was off-key. Other than that, it was a run-of-the-mill boring country song.
Did the Judges Like It? Nicki said she needed to step up her game to contend with the rest of the girls.


Candice
First Song:
"Don't Make Me Over" by Dionne Warwick
Did I Remember It? No.
Did the Judges Like It? Yes. Nicki was over the moon about her "baby girl" this, "honeychile" that.
Second Song: "Lovesong" by The Cure (as covered by Adele because Candice doesn't actually like The Cure)
Did I Remember It? One of her runs was off-key as was the last falsetto note. That's it.
Did the Judges Like It? They fucking salivated over her.

In the results show, the producers made the show even less fun by kicking off Lazaro. And now the show is full of boring girls who can't sing and have no personality. *zzzzzzzzzz*

Maybe Vote For the Worst will go for Bland Janelle now that Lazaro's gone. She's not interesting, she sings like a dying cat, and she's a white GIRL with a guitar. Hmmmmmm...

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