You know what's awesome about Vote For The Worst? The fact that they don't care. They will act how they want, deal with all the hate mail they get, and they've stuck around for nine seasons of Idol. They get attacked for being honest and having an opinion (kind of like my posts on here) but they don't give a shit (and neither do I). And they're actually really funny and make the show more entertaining for me. Plenty of people have spoken up about Idol since they've been on the show and VFTW has always backed them up. Hell, they even had Sanjaya on their radio show once. Sanjaya is awesome, I don't care what anyone says. He had personality and he was entertaining.
Another thing about VFTW that I like is that they don't come up with random bullshit out of thin air. Whenever they hear something interesting and post it on their website, THEY LINK A SOURCE so all the skeptics can go check it out for themselves (like the actual video of Lazaro's TV Line interview I mentioned last week). UNTHINKABLE, I KNOW. Remember back in season six when one of the semi-finalists had nude pictures of her leaked on the Internet, including a set of her giving someone head? VFTW were the first people to prove that the more sexually explicit pictures were not of her, but of someone else who looked a little like her. And they were the first ones to report that a male finalist from season seven worked as a gay stripper prior to Idol, and that Adam Lambert was gay. They're also quick to quash myths about the show, like the audition process, and they've gotten inside info on certain contestants sometimes as early as before Hollywood week even aired, specifically the ones who had previous music industry experience and were planted into the show. In short, they know their stuff.
They're stopping after this season so the creator can focus on starting a family (good for you, Dave).
Anyway, last week Idol was beaten in the ratings by a RERUN of The Big Bang Theory. Now that's just embarrassing. And funny.
This week's themes were Contestant's Choice and - get this - One-Hit Wonders (which is good practice for their post-Idol careers). It was picked by the Idol fans (so maybe they're not completely useless). I was excited because usually one-hit wonders are catchy but not very good. I expected train wrecks tonight. This should be fun.
Amber Not-Whitney Houston
Contestant's Choice Round: "The Power of Love" by Celine Dion
Amber has the shittiest taste in music ever. Why? Why this song? What is so great about this song? (hint: nothing) How in the hell can Amber show how hip and current and contemporary she can be when she sings drecky ballads from the 1980's? Celine Dion is neither hip nor current nor contemporary. But I have to say that I liked the beginning where she sang a capella, because she didn't overdo it and it was very simple. Then she started oversinging again and went off-key several times. Her last falsetto note was a little flat. Thankfully, the performance was mercifully short.
Keith rambled on about her. Has he said one interesting thing the whole season? Nicki liked the all-in-one white suit and called her current (I laughed).
Grade: D. SO. BORING. OHMYGOD.
One-Hit Wonder Round: "MacArthur Park" by Richard Harris (as covered by Donna Summer)
Better/ More Entertaining Song Choice: That was probably the best song choice for One-Hit Wonder round, but maybe Walking On Sunshine, Play That Funky Music, or Who Let the Dogs Out could top that.
She was wearing neon orange, which I laughed at. The song starts at a slow pace then FINALLY picks up the beat. Amber's lower register is terrible here, though. When she tries to screech out notes she can't hit, she sounds pretty painful. She was very off-key towards the end, too.
I think Nicki mistakenly called her "Angie".
Grade: D. She sounds a lot worse than she usually does.
Jimmy Iovine said Amber's one-hit wonder choice was corny. DUH.
Furious Face Candice
Contestant's Choice Round: "Find Your Love" by Drake
I have never heard this song before. But given that Drake is current, I expected it to be an uptempo song. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Because these contestants are dumb enough to think that you can't show off how well you can sing unless you sing something slow and put everyone to sleep. And Candice being the token screechy diva disregards the melody, oversings it to all hell, and goes off-key about every 10th note. The song wasn't even that interesting.
Nicki wished she had stuck to the melody (agreed). Randy didn't like that she oversang it (despite being a hypocrite and praising Amber for doing so).
Grade: D- because she was more off-key than Amber.
One-Hit Wonder Round: "Emotion" by Samantha Sang (as covered by Destiny's Child)
Better/ More Entertaining Song Choice: Barbie Girl, Safety Dance, or Baby Got Back (work that badonkadonk, girl!)
Candice still doesn't listen to the judges' advice from the previous round and oversings the song to all hell again.
The judges spent about half of their critiques arguing with Jimmy's comment about Amber's previous performance.
Grade: D-. Turns out Candice has a cold. She doesn't sound any shittier than she has on the show so I didn't notice a difference.
Kree the Janitor
Contestant's Choice Round: "It Hurt So Bad" by Susan Tedeschi (who?)
Kree can't sing on key. She's not interesting. Do you really want me to recap her?
The judges didn't really like her as much. Are the producers purposefully sandbagging the VFTW pick week after week?
One-Hit Wonder Round: "A Whiter Shade of Pale" by Procol Harum (as covered by Annie Lennox)
Better/ More Entertaining Song Choice: Tainted Love, Afternoon Delight, or What Is Love
This song was SO. PAINFULLY. SLOW. So slow that it does not deserve a recap.
The judges bored me just as much as her performance. Fast-forward.
Grade: FAIL. If I skip recapping you, you do not get a passing grade.
Angie Big Hair
Contestant's Choice Round: "Who You Are" by Jessie J.
She was back at the piano, which means the judges will love her. Her first attempt at oversinging was painfully off-key. Angie needs to follow the advice Randy gave Candice about NOT OVERSINGING. This is the problem when someone oversings. They go off-key and they sound like shit. This is why I don't like these girls. Unfortunately, Angie's performance dragged on and on as she screamed more and more off-key. I need to go shove some tissues in my ears.
The judges liked her (because they're morons) but they wanted to hear her original song again.
Grade: FAIL. Can we vote all the girls off?
One-Hit Wonder Round: "Cry Me a River" by Julie London (who?)
Better/ More Entertaining Song Choice: It's Raining Men, I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles), or Mambo No. 5
And it's another painfully slow song and Angie is off-key right at the first note. I'm skipping the recap for this one, too.
The judges salivated over her again and I just turned the video off.
Grade: FAIL. I'll say it again: THIS was the best talent they could find in America?
Amber & Kree - "Rumour Has It" by Adele
Ugh. Adele has become so overplayed now. Frankly JDA's performance of this back in the sudden death rounds is better simply because it was actually PERFORMED instead of just sung from behind a microphone. Kree wisely tried to avoid her lower register as much as she could (because it sucks). But then they started oversinging. Hell, the Glee version of the song is better than this shit (thanks to the flawless-ness that is Naya Rivera).
Grade: D. Stop singing Adele. You suck at it.
Angie & Candice - "Stay" by Rihanna
So can I just assume that none of the contestants will ever sing anything uptempo again on this show? Should I just expect to be bored to tears week after week? But I did laugh at Angie and Candice's attempt to harmonize because they were both flat and terrible.
Grade: FAIL. Both of them.
In the results show, predictably no one went home because of Idol's new contingency plan. Since the save is dead, they had to have a week with no elimination in order to fill all the slots saved for them this season. And who reported this, using TV Line as a source? Vote For the Worst.
All righty, I'm out. This show blows. ALL HAIL VOTE FOR THE WORST.