BWUY YOH wohhhh widdle da widdle do woodley widdledy wawww weeeeh gritchlew WEUUUUW, GWAAH GWOOH GRAW GRIH GRIH GRIH GREUUUUW GWEEE nyee nyee nyee nyee nyee nyee nyee nyee nyee REHHH sheww
No really, it does.
Wow, the finale is finally here. It seems like just yesterday I was laughing at the semi-finalists because they were so terrible. And I finished all my finals (yay!), so I have no distractions.
I wish I had added a little video clip at the end of all my recaps. So instead I'll just stick a whole bunch in this post. Just to celebrate the fact that I'm done with finals.
I noticed that Candice is wearing one of Kree's janitor shirts and Kree is looking tons better than she has on the show.
ROUND ONE - Simon Fuller's Choice
Kree the Janitor - "Angel" by Sarah MacLachlan
Sadly, there was no montage of sad-looking animals behind her. Usually Kree's vocals are underwhelming, but I did hear some parts in the beginning where she was giving some effort. I wish she'd have kept that going, but the song never really picked up. The performance was very short, too.
Grade: C-. I saw flashes of an effort, but not enough.
Furious Face Candice - "Chasing Pavements" by Adele
She had some interesting phrasing, which showed that she was either being creative or she can't count. But other than that, she didn't even oversing that much and was on key for pretty much the whole song.
Grade: B+. She did her job. I knew she would from the second I saw the song spoilers.
ROUND ONE WINNER: Candice.
I fast-forwarded through Carly Rae Jepsen. Not here for that.
ROUND TWO - Awful Idol Coronation Song
Kree the Janitor - "All Cried Out"
Right away, the first three notes or so were off-key. Kree's vocals are underwhelming again. Her higher notes are awful and flat. She can't seem to stay on key for an entire verse.
Grade: D. An off-key snoozefest.
Furious Face Candice - "I Am Beautiful"
When I saw the song spoilers and the title of Candice's song, my mind went straight to "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera. But I was thoroughly relieved that this was an original song, even if it was a cliche coronation song. And I was ready to heave up my lunch when I heard these awful lyrics. Who the fuck wrote this terrible song? Candice sang it fine, but oversang it to all hell. UGHHHHHHHHHH. Apparently she really liked the lyrics. I laughed.
Grade: D+. More pleasant than Kree because she wasn't painfully off-key.
ROUND TWO WINNER: Candice.
ROUND THREE - Contestant's Reprise
Kree the Janitor - "Up to the Mountain" by Patty Griffin
Kree actually gave an effort with this performance! I was surprised. Some of her high notes were a little off, but this was by far her best performance of the night. She didn't completely sing the shit out of the song, but she came pretty close.
Furious Face Candice - "I (Who Have Nothing)" by Shirley Bassey
Candice started a capella but gave pretty much the same performance as last time, misinterpreting the song to be angry and oversinging it to the point where she actually gave me a headache.
Grade: FAIL. Not the best song to reprise, especially if she interpreted it wrongly again.
ROUND THREE WINNER: Kree.
SEASON WINNER: Candice.
Instead of giving a short recap of the finale results, I'm going to recap the whole finale results show.
One last video. Let's end where we started, shall we?
See you tonight.